Her: come over

Me: I can’t, hurricane Irma is here

Her: my parents aren’t home

Why the hell would you ever do this? Like what did this accomplish?

Uh, its fucking sweet? You have a once in a lifetime opportunity to experience the raw force of nature in the form of a rare windstorm and you’re going to just sit your ass in the car like some kind of bitch boy? Fuck that. I’m going to get out, unzip my pants, and get the world’s fastest blowjob. Get on my level.

see that thing he’s holding? it’s a windspeed sensor(pic related)

He’s a meteorologist. His job is to study weather and report on it.

he’s stepping out into hurricane irma to get a real-world reading on the hurricane’s force.