andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

A cleric who is the Team Mom and only heals by kissing you on the forehead and buffs you by licking her thumb and rubbing away some schmutz on your face

someone’s like “you know that’s not actually required for your job” and she’s like “shhhhh my beautiful child, my healing my rules, I made you a potion, it’s chicken noodle mana” 

Their holy sigil is a macaroni necklace you made in second grade. You didn’t know them in second grade. You’re not sure how they got that macaroni necklace. You ask them about it, and they just slip you a twenty and tell you to get whatever you want at the food court. “What is a food court?” you cry, but it doesn’t matter because they summoned a hero’s feast and everything tastes wonderful, and at some point you crawl into their lap to cry about something you thought you were adult enough to handle. 

“This is you handling it,” they say. “You’re never too big to ask your mom for help.”

“You’re literally not my mother,” you sob.

“But metaphorically,” they say, and you’re like truuuuuuuuuu and sob a little more before they tuck you into a bedroll because you’ve got a big day tomorrow stopping an assassination at a royal palace

  1. ihavemace reblogged this from jeza-red
  2. perfectionisamoth reblogged this from fandomstuffdoeshappen
  3. fandomstuffdoeshappen reblogged this from fandomstuffdoeshappen
  4. that-weird-art-girl reblogged this from krel-tal
  5. krel-tal reblogged this from theasexualscorpio
  6. theasexualscorpio reblogged this from tonysfriend42
  7. houfukuseisaku reblogged this from paper-mario-wiki
  8. gloryfalling reblogged this from abloris-the-plantriarchy
  9. hufflepufflibrarian reblogged this from andhumanslovedstories
  10. cioccolxta reblogged this from infinity-mechanism
  11. darkened-justice reblogged this from infinity-mechanism
  12. captainsaku reblogged this from infinity-mechanism
  13. infinity-mechanism reblogged this from undead-potatoes
  14. organicgold reblogged this from redspecs
  15. thatbeluga reblogged this from slyrin-into-your-dms
  16. slyrin-into-your-dms reblogged this from tuxedo-rabbit
  17. redspecs reblogged this from brevity-is-the-soul-of-wit
  18. festivetrickster reblogged this from brevity-is-the-soul-of-wit
  19. andhumanslovedstories posted this