carnival-phantasm:

carnival-phantasm:

God, I really wish I played Fallout New Vegas around the time it was released. I can only imagine the joy of convincing your friends who were also disappointed with Fallout 3 to buy New Vegas just by spoiling the kind of bullshit that happens in the game completely out of context

Me: “So the angry mailman finally arrives at Las Vegas, which is just like the real one. That Woody Robot stalker I told you about tells him to visit Walt Disney and his robot girlfriend, but my mailman is PISSED and goes straight to Chandler Bing’s casino for an express delivery of whoop-ass. I end up having a drink with Chandler and he tells me about how he became the leader of his tribe of dudes in suits and his plan of conquering the shitty desert with Disney’s animatronics.”

Friend: “…huh. Wasn’t Elvis the boss of Las Vegas though?”

Me: “No, Elvis and his cute cyborg dog rule Las Vegas’ ghetto, although the murderous laser merchants and that brothel with the ghoul cowboy prostitute and robot fister are pretty influential too. These factions are very complex”

Me: “My current companion is a lady specialized in stealth.”

Friend: “Don’t tell me she’s one of those cliche sexy spy ladies clad in black and-”

Me: “ She is a sweet sweet grandma who was turned into a Nightkin, a sneaky Super Mutant. She tells me about her grandchildren all the time and how she used to bake them cookies and stuff, she’s so nice!”

Friend: “…she is what?”

Me: “Her weapon is a bigass sword. Well, actually it’s a helicopter blade she strapped to a piece of wood using leather belts, but she uses it as a sword.”

Friend: “Are you making this up as you go?”

Me: “She has Dissociative Identity Disorder but she’s already on meds and I think mailman is a very supportive friend! She is his grandma now. Here’s a pic of her.”

Friend: “????”

Me: “I love my grandma.”