swamp-wizard:

imagine dirk strider sitting at his desk. actually more like laying at his desk. like his chair is reclined back all the way and his legs are kicked up on the desk and hes wearing a snuggie and watching netflix or something. and hes eating doritos but the bag is almost empty so he just pours it into his mouth to get the chip bits stuck at the bottom of the bag and some of the crumbs spill all over his chest and hes like “fuck” but he doesnt do anything about it. and he grabs some Mountain Dew® Live Wire™ out of his sylladex but its all shaken up and he doesnt realize it so as soon as he twists the cap it just explodes all over his hands and his snuggie and hes all like “FUCK”. but he doesnt do anything about it