mystery-moose:

theappleppielifestyle:

you know how taako is a dick at the start of the podcast, like more than usual, back before he starts really caring about the people around him? 

i headcanon that a reason why he’s so pissed at lucretia, other than the obvious, is bc she made him be alone, truly alone, for the first time in his life, and taako got to learn what he’s like when he doesn’t have people to lean on. 

bc he always had lup, even when he had no one else he always had lup, and when they joined the starblaster he had a solid group of people for a hundred years. whenever he got dangerously towards the neutral side of neutral good there was someone to pull him back. 

but then lucretia takes those memories, and suddenly all taako has, all he ever had, is himself. he does what he has to and he closes himself off more than he ever had when he had lup or the starblaster crew. taako becomes a version of himself who’s only ever had himself to rely on.

and even when his memories come back and he’s whole again, he still knows what he became when he was alone with no one to lean on or pull him back, and he doesn’t like that person. i think taako believes that’s what he’s like, deep down, and he hates it, and now he’s stuck with that knowledge forever.

This is something I’ve thought for a while.

Taako’s a pragmatist, a realist, he’s always been that way even when he had Lup. He’s more than willing to do the hard arithmetic, destroy the crystal to keep it from the Hunger or watch the Grand Relics slowly destroy Faerun knowing it’s preferable to the alternative. That’s who he is.

It’s just that without Lup, he’s more of that person. That person never had any checks or balances on their selfishness. That person never knew the stalwart love of a sibling who was always there for them. That person believed they grew up alone, that the world was harsh and cruel and held no mercy, that you had to be as harsh, as cruel, in order to simply survive.

(It’s part of why I think the idea that Taako wasn’t in complete, dominant control in his relationship with Sazed is crazy. Taako with Lup, maybe. Taako without Lup? Not a chance. He exploited that poor sap for all he was worth. But because Taako’s not as clever as he thinks he is, he didn’t see how that would end.)

Taako with Lup almost certainly wouldn’t like Taako without Lup. And vice versa, which is almost worse.

lup is 80% of taakos impulse control