yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: Our party was fighting a group of zombies in a monster-infested town. We had defeated two out of the three, and the last one was standing just within the doorway of a small shack.

Wizard OOC: Alright, I’m gonna run forwards and hit the zombie with my quarterstaff!

DM: Alright, roll.

Wizard OOC: …I got a 1.

DM: You run forwards with your staff, attempting to hit the zombie with blunt force, but you misjudge the height of the doorway and your staff gets lodged within the soft wood.

Ranger: *rolls eyes* Wow, great job.

Fighter OOC: Alright, then I’m gonna run forwards and slash at the zombie with my sword. He doesn’t have many hit points left, right?

DM: Nope.

*a long period of silence passes*

Fighter OOC: …I got a 1 too.

*uproarious laughter*

DM: Alright, so you run forwards and, same as the wizard, your sword gets caught deep in the doorframe. Both of you are completely stuck where you’re standing and the zombie is just staring at you now, caught up in a wave of second-hand-embarrassment. It stands there for a long while before it disappears into the house. A second later you hear the backdoor open and you see a cloud of dust floating upwards in the wind. The zombie literally killed itself you guys. The zombie killed itself because of your incompetence. Great job. 10/10.

Ranger: Yay, we did it!