spacepint:

arahir:

screeeeeeeeeeam:

arahir:

i told everyone i was going to vacuum the kitchen and to stay out for a few minutes, and literally in the time it took me to go get the vacuum cleaner someone accidentally left their glass in the water dispenser and flooded the entire kitchen.

How…?

i know this isn’t a legit question but since i’m at maximum petty at this moment let me just describe the level of ennui in my house. my dad doesn’t like to stand there and hold a water glass under the fridge dispenser for the ~8 seconds it takes to fill a glass so he macgyvered it so you can just jam a glass in there and let it do its thing.

and by macgyvered i mean he took it apart, removed the spring mechanism, and bought a whole set of new glasses that are the perfect size so that they wedge in the dispenser.

that’s what i’m dealing with. my dad surgically altered the fridge and bought an entire glass tableware set so that he wouldn’t have to hold a glass in the dispenser for 8 seconds.

he’s done this with almost everything in the house. he was tired of having to latch and unlatch gates so he cut off the latches and taped industrial strength magnets in their place. he hooked up the chicken coop door to a circuit board and a solar array so it opens and closes automatically. years after he divorced my mom, one of her toilets broke and when the plumber opened it up it was full of corks that my dad had somehow tied into a functioning flush mechanism, presumably so he wouldn’t have to go buy real parts at the hardware store we lived next door to. we’re talking a walk of thirty feet from toilet to hardware store counter, max. it was literally just operating on cork power. for all those years. we never knew.

anyway that’s how.

Is your father a software engineer? Because I’m getting a very distinct whiff of “software engineer” from this post.