yourplayersaidwhat:

Dwarf Skald: Mind if I take a crack at your problem?

Guard: How about fuck you.

Dwarf Skald: …And fuck this, I’m going to the tank.

Guard: Your dwarf is a moody one.

Human Brawler: I believe he has undergone some serious trauma in the past few days.

Guard: My brother was just killed today. Tell me about trauma.

Human Brawler: His best friend was possessed by a malevolent sword and his soul was damned to the blackest pit of hell.

Aasimar Summoner: My parents burned to death, along with my house.

Dragon Paladin: My mate ate my son.

Human Rogue: My grandfather’s body is currently being worn like a meat suit by a demon and I’m forced to feel every inkling of pain he does.

Guard: …I’ll get the Cognac.

Party: Thank you.