(context: my wizard and fighter are arguing whether to go explore the dungeon or stay in the town and talk to more people)

wizard: i slap him with my fish

me: excuse me

wizard: did i fucking stutter

me: fine, you [wizard] roll a d20 and you [fighter] roll dexterity saving to see if you can dodge

wizard: nat 20 get fUCKED

fighter: are you fucking kidding me. *turns to me* are you actually letting this happen

me: listen, he said he wanted to slap you with a fish, so i guess roll a d3 for fish

wizard: i got a 3 motherFUCKER

fighter: WE’RE ONLY LEVEL 1 YOU TOOK A THIRD OF MY HEALTH ALREADY