“Can you draw me free art for my birthday?”

—

“Do you take requests?”
“Yes but I don’t always draw them, requests are always open.”
“If you don’t always draw them it’s not requests”

—

“Do you draw for free or are you another money-obsessed ass hole?”

—

“Could you draw me this picture? <idea>”
“Yeah, that’d be like 30 bucks”
“Okay, do I pay you before or after you draw it?”
“Before. If I charged after it’d let people screw me over.”
“Well I’m not going to pay for it if I don’t like it so unless I pay after you’re not getting my money.”

—

“Do you take requests?”
“Yes but I don’t always draw them, requests are always open.”
“So like, if you really like the idea you draw them, then?”
“Yes”
“How do you like my OC?”
“They look alright”
“Would you take a request of them?”
“Probably not”
“Then why lie and say you like my OC?”

—

“You do commissions, right?”
“Yes”
“God dammit I fucking hate ‘’artists’’ like you”

—

“My best friend died yesterday, if you could draw a picture of their OC I’d really appreciate it, here’s the references. I’m sending this to a lot of artists.”

—

“Could you draw my OC brutally murdering <well known artist’s OC>?”
“Are they okay with it?”
“I don’t want them to know about it, they’re an ass hole”

—

“Can you draw my OC fucking <well known artist>?”
“Like, fucking their OC or fucking them?”
“Them, their IRL self”
“Have they said you can commission that?”
“No, but have you seen their selfies? I wanna fuck them so bad”