Alien: You shouldn’t eat that.
Human: What?
Alien: That thing. Don’t you know it’s extremely acidic? Enough to cause eventual deterioration of your flesh?
Human: ….it’s a fucking pineapple.
Alien: But that thing contains bromelain, it’ll destroy your body’s proteins!
Human: Not if I digest the bromelain first.
Alien: Humans are insane!
“Not if I digest it first” is an official human motto, in close competition with “not if I pet it first”.
altruisticmystik reblogged this from magical-awesome-kid
cunty-cuntasaurus-rex reblogged this from wetwareproblem - cunty-cuntasaurus-rex liked this
scrithix liked this i-can-show-you-my-world reblogged this from yall-mothafuckas-need-misha
realityfantasypsychology liked this 
ekmadlove liked this 
8-writes liked this 
lorehypothesizer liked this phillip-mamouf-wifarts liked this
bianthrogirl7 reblogged this from allonsy-gabriel
chaoticevilbean liked this 
ohwowguineapigs reblogged this from peanutdream - ohwowguineapigs liked this
bluevoltaire liked this
radio-zombie liked this
scalpelfightclub reblogged this from peanutdream
geejaysmith liked this
peanutdream reblogged this from wolfmaw
wolfmaw reblogged this from space-orcs-on-death-world
the-space-slut liked this 
rosedraquia reblogged this from space-orcs-on-death-world 
nanad-whehehe liked this 
funk-master-mcgee-123 liked this 
no-ones-gonna-catch-us-now liked this everybodysfavoriteknaifu liked this
alec-the-sleepy-bear liked this writtenfantasy24 liked this
jadethetroll reblogged this from space-orcs-on-death-world
yeetingthehellaway reblogged this from raven-whisperer fuckthisusernamebull-shit liked this
free-therapy-for-me liked this 
fuckinganxiousallthetime reblogged this from mystical-flute 
siobhan-ashleigh reblogged this from iriso-page receiptsonhumanity reblogged this from slimecouch
the-bean-monster liked this bisexualpoedamneron liked this
gingerqueen4 liked this
charlottevictoria liked this
bardsonly reblogged this from wash-n-dry
wash-n-dry reblogged this from elarko 
elarko reblogged this from mystical-flute strangerthanx reblogged this from mystical-flute
happygtyhvf liked this 
ipleiade liked this spoiledchestnut posted this
- Show more notes
