Alien: You shouldn’t eat that.
Human: What?
Alien: That thing. Don’t you know it’s extremely acidic? Enough to cause eventual deterioration of your flesh?
Human: ….it’s a fucking pineapple.
Alien: But that thing contains bromelain, it’ll destroy your body’s proteins!
Human: Not if I digest the bromelain first.
Alien: Humans are insane!
“Not if I digest it first” is an official human motto, in close competition with “not if I pet it first”.
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