human daily caloric requirement is 1500 to 2500 depending on the person

1 gallon of gasoline contains enough calories to satisfy that requirement for 12400 to 20600 days, or about 34 to 56.5 years

therefore, if i chug a gallon of gasoline, i won’t need to eat for the rest of my life

strictly speaking you’re absolutely correct

I mean, only problem is that even if we assume you can somehow digest it, you do know how the body stores energy right?

duh, in the gas tank. i have my drivers licence