Additionally;
me: *waiting for the subway*
intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped
me: it would cause a four hour delay while they pick your body parts out of the rails you fucking prick, can we please for once get on public transit without going through this

Also;
Me: *walking along a busy road*
intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over in front of this truck?
Me: It would back up traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot of people you prick.

Gosh. I never have thoughts like this

didnt ask but that sounds nice

Me: *walking down the stairs*
Intrusive Thought: I could throw myself down these flight of stairs and leave more time for everyone else!
Me: Or you end up with a broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead keep walking

Me: *driving on a bridge*
Intrusive thoughts: I could just drive straight into that lake and finish it right now.
Me: You asshole, this is a new car. Just fucking keep going like everyone else you prick.

oh my god,^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I needed this

Me: *standing at a lookout* It’s so beautiful here…

Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you could just step out into it and you’d probably never feel the impact when you hit the ground 20m below…

Me: Bitch, don’t ruin the view for everyone else. Fucksake.

Me: *doing literally nothing*

Intrusive thoughts: What if-

Me: Can’t you just shut the fuck up and chill for once? God damn

Me: I wonder what my wife wants for dinner?

Intrusive thought: a divorce

Me: Now, Timothy, that’s just uncalled for. You can’t even eat that.

Me:* pouring tea*

Intrusive thoughts: you shoul-

Me: pour the hot tea on myself? God fucking chill out I just want some tea edge lord

Me..