yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: i am in my first ever DnD campaign. Nothong os serious. Our dm is pretty much making it up as we go. Squad consists pf a bird person, cat person, and me, a human-sized halfling who really loves sex. I don’t remember exactly how, but i was unconscious.

Cat: i run over to (halfling) and try to heal them

Me: I embrace death

Cat: Fucking why???

Dm: fine, ok, ill allow it. You are now dead. Congradulations.

Me: I roll to seduce Satan.

Dm: God dammit. Fine, but you are going to have to roll pretty high for it to-

Me: *Nat 20*

Dm: God fucking dammit. Ok. You fuck satan. He revives you, and you recieve satan’s blessing, adding ½ d8 damage to any attack

Me: Can i stay a bit longer?

Dm:N o

Tl,Dr: fucked satan and got sick fire powers