me: hmm… i wonder if the reason im doing this unhealthy thing… is because it’s at least something i know how to control… unlike that glaring problem in my life that i dont understand how to fix?

the microsoft paperclip that lives in my brain and thinks it has a phd because it took a semester of ap psych in high school: hi! it looks like you’re using language of introspection. are you trying to self-actualize?

me: i need to do it on my own this time, clippy