one time i was on an old street in glasgow and i made a loud joke about vampires and as i did this beautiful man with long hair on the other side of the street made direct eye contact with me and then ten minutes later he walked by again and looked at me and I still count that on my list of the five closest times I’ve ever come to dying
likely: I am just too loud to not look at in public places and he was just lost downtown
also likely: vampire, scoping me out for the kill
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