banishedquasiroyal:

banishedquasiroyal-deact:

none bc jack noir doesn’t have game even for the felt who are like. honestly a poly clusterfuck of green kermit skin.

slick could theoretically bone all of the felt but he doesn’t bc he has High Standards and sort of is a One Babe kind of guy (snowman. then some weird thing with DD. ms paint, definitely. arguably hussie & m a y b e the blue cow butler lusus, who was a classy dude in my opinion).

bec noir tho has the advantage of being a) a furry and b) has ANIMAL MAGNETISM which regular jack noir doesn’t have. regular jack noir is just like, the human actor jack black in a black morph suit and even more exaggerated facial expressions. i love him but he is definitely not a chad

but bec noir. That Guy. he’s a TOTAL chad. i could write essays about his prowess. his dudely nature. his man gaka powers. but i won’t bc yknow. not my field of expertise.

@hypeswap good point! clover is an unrelenting beast. he’s like saitama. one look and u r SEDUCED by that smutty little devil.

truly tho we gotta consider where everyone else falls within this hypothetical sexy chart. sawbuck clearly is a pillow princess.