Look, I have one of these creepy jerks in my back garden and it can fuck off. It freezes and looks at me with that mannequin face of “you didn’t see anything.” I understand that it’s a good thing for the ecosystem but it fuckin freaks me out. Blechhhh. I like the bunny rabbits and the chipmunks and the occasional mouse but this ugly ass bitch needs to shove off.

more ways in which opossums are like beautiful girls:

• adorable when asleep
  
• long fingers
  
• permanent smokey eye
  
• fuzzy belly