yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: At the beginning of the game an insane old beggar woman managed to sell our paladin “bread” in an ally way. We had nearly forgot about it until we took inventory at a hot spring where the boys of our group got curious.

Paladin: I take out the bread

DM: *sighs* I would implore you not too

Warrior: I’ll take a bite if you take a bite

DM: I IMPLORE YOU NOT TOO

Paladin: I take some of the bread and split it with Burn Tee

DM: some crumbs fall into the water you’re sitting in and fizz/green smoke come out

Mage + Tank + Thief: DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

Paladin and Warrior eat the bread

DM: Congrats!!1! You fucking idiots!! You both are now unconscious for the next 42 hours!!! Fuck Y O U!