i don’t think i’ve seen anyone actually make a post about it, but one of the intrinsic issues of “i do it in private to cope” is if it was “in private, between consenting adults”, and people are aware of it, you have fundamentally misunderstood what privacy is. 

if i can open up a fucking tumblr tag and see your “private coping mechanism” you have fucked up really really badly at being private about it. 

if i can open up discord and go to your public server and see people talking about your “private coping mechanism” you are either the stupidest motherfucker alive, or doing it deliberately and are thus evil