accio-shitpost:

“Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire, Harry?” Dumbledore asked calmly.

The word ‘calmly’ can hold different meanings in different circumstances. If you were to pass someone a bucket of water calmly when their house was burning down, it could suggest that you were the sort of brave individual who was always prepared to combat the sources of arson when they occur. If you were to ask a nervous bank teller to fill a sack with money while calmly pointing a gun at their head, it might mean that you were the kind of villainous person who practiced such odious and criminal activities on a regular basis. Or if, like me, you were to sit calmly typing the next chapter of your chronicle in the lives of some unfortunate young children, while all around you the kitchen of the reputable restaurant that you were hiding in was slowly filling with sand, it would indicate that you have a life that is often filled with peril and misfortune, and that you were bound by duty to complete your task, no matter how miserable.

Of course, the word ‘calmly’ is never used to indicate a person flying into a rage and shouting your words angrily. ‘Angrily’ is in fact an antonym of ‘calmly’, an antonym being a word with entirely the opposite meaning of the original, such as ‘villain’ and ‘volunteer’, ‘birthday party’ and 'tragic fire’, or 'author’ and 'happy person’.

Now, obviously, a well-read and distinguished director of cinema would never mistake a word with its antonym. That would be preposterous, a word which here means 'create an incredibly out of character scene and confuse the audience.’

did lemony snicket ghostwrite this?