me: trying to come up with the weirdest, most deviant Drone Season requests I can muster
my brain: “ask for something where Cronus is competent.”
expanding on this: a story where Cronus is dumb and has terrible social skills, but someone (Horuss? Porrim?) pity-lays him, and it turns out he is actually INCREDIBLE in bed. then word starts to spread among the other trolls. “Wait, WHO? gave you the most toe-curling orgasm you ever had?!?” suddenly Cronus is hit with all these trolls trying to get their hands on the golden bulge. and of course, he’s happy to oblige. he has to start keeping an appointment book for all the booty calls.
then, at the end, plot-twist: the entire story was actually being written by Cronus as wish-fulfillment jerk off material.
I’m laughing bc honestly Cronus acting uncharacteristically experienced and attentive because he’s being written BY CRONUS is SUCH A CRONUS MOVE
this was an episode of archer. Archer got drunk had sex with pam and it was the best sex he ever had.