1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

3) mostly mined with slave labor

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN. 

Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring. 

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

engagement rings: HACKED

Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably.

thanks edith

Because youre just as married with a $200 ring as you are with a $20,000 ring. And stores like Jared, the Gonorrhea of Jewelry™️ throw unoriginal designs and bullshit adverts that we dont fall for.

The fact that so many people are so much more concerned about the price of a ring than the emotions behind it is probably a pretty good explanation of why modern marriages don’t last. If you have to look at your check book before buying the ring you want to give your fiance, then don’t fucking marry her.

Bruh, love does not eliminate the need for financial responsibility. My dad didn’t propose to my mum with a diamond ring, but they’re still together over 20 years later so you know, maybe the price of the ring doesn’t actually fucking matter?

“Hey I know I’m in debt now and I won’t be able to provide for us, but at least I didn’t look at my checkbook before buying the ring!”