every potterstuck au neglects the idea of alpha rose sending dirk and hal to hogwarts and the following bullshit that only two rowdy boys from texas could pull
‘Why do I need to take defense against the dark arts?
I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn’t factor into the solution at least in some way.”
hal enchants a mcdonalds cup to keep his sweet tea cold and all of the other students are horrified
hal: YAINT
all of the other students, crying:
“What do you MEAN it takes dark magic to splinter my soul? I did it like. twice before breakfast yesterday. Is that not supposed to happen?”
he figures out the enchant to make the statues alive so he can fight them hand to hand