open your eyes people! they’re all weenies! your fave could never and i know it hurts but you just need to accept and understand that they absolutely have not and never will match even a fourth of the tenacity literally any other homestuck girl has in their right pinkies alone

“Not even Dirk?” is what I’d ask if I didn’t know better.

dirk “im going to dissipate into a cloud of pixels due to my sheer manpain” strider is one of the biggest weenies of them all

What about Kurloz? He is quite more manipulative than numerous of the females, with intimidation factors that rank higher than some females.

Also he has attractive aspects to add in.

kurloz is manipulative in the “mind control to the point where no memories are retained, using my girlfriend to do my bidding” and “suspiciously was the only person to witness a once brilliant individual get brain damaged so badly that they couldn’t fully function any longer in society let alone as a friend” sense. not to mention “is part of a murdercult and knowingly assists someone into becoming their own god and then fucking shit up (gamzee)”. and yeah that would be so interesting if he was actually developed past “spooky pawn with chucklevoodoos” as far as his character arc goes.

read: he’s not a weenie. he’s next level undercooked hotdog boy. this guy is still pig intestines waiting to be seasoned. he is the cheap, mass produced generic soy/corn blend that the pig ate before its inevitable slaughter.