remember the wayside school books those were fucked up
remember that one chapter where a new student came to the class and was wearing like 10 different raincoats and the teacher kept making him take off the raincoats one by one until they got down to the final layer and it was just a dead rat
some other truly exceptional Wayside moments:
-Paul keeps pulling Leslie’s pigtails so he gets sent to the counsellor’s office. The counsellor is a hypnotist named Doctor Pickell, and he hypnotizes Paul into thinking Leslie’s pigtails are snakes. Because he’s a troll, he also hypnotizes Paul into believing Leslie’s ears are delicious candy whenever Leslie says the word “pencil”.
-The class is taken over by the son of hated ex-teacher Mrs. Gorf. Because they killed his mom he uses his superpower of stealing people’s voices to steal their voices and call their parents to say how much each individual student hates their family. The students are forced to listen in silence, crying. (They are saved by the cafeteria lady.)
-Benjamin is too nervous and awkward to correct Mrs Jewls when she gets his name wrong, so he goes by “Mark Miller” for months. He finally says his real name to a substitute teacher. Everyone thinks it’s a great prank and also go by Benjamin for the whole day, including the teacher.
-Louis the yard teacher falls in love with substitute teacher Miss Nogard. She has a third ear on top of her head that allows her to listen to people’s thoughts.
-Joe is the only student to order the potato salad one day. The face he draws in it looks like Mrs. Gorf and she nearly turns Joe into an apple.
-Because Wayside School is 30 stories high, they installed elevators. One only went up and the other only went down, so they got used once and never again.
-Allison gets stuck on the 19th story, which doesn’t exist. Nobody else can see, hear, or remember her. The 19th chapter is three chapters long.
My favorite genre of children’s story is “This would be horror if the characters were adults”
WOW i forgot about these until now and now its so vivid
on the topic of the 19th floor, everyone who never existed is taught there including the mark miller (who the class thinks is benjamin nushmutt), bebe’s brother named ray gunn and their teacher, Mrs Zarves, who keeps them in purgatory by having them copy the dictionary and gives them As to keep them complacent.
plotweaver liked this
daddyschlonglegg reblogged this from kissingagrumpygiant
kaisspamblog liked this a-pansexual-unicorn liked this
legendsgates reblogged this from stormcrawler75
the-arthropod-queen reblogged this from txttletale
rolandsbeanies liked this squooshit reblogged this from lauralot89
squooshit liked this
oddsoliloquy liked this
zombieofdrake liked this
starry-skies-hazy-eyes reblogged this from zackisontumblr
hollissray reblogged this from juni-reblogs
hollissray liked this
quietcairn liked this junior-goddess reblogged this from demipunk
linkeightvideo reblogged this from belledxct
belledxct reblogged this from spritepeps-i
ms-demeanor liked this iamat0m reblogged this from myfeelingshavefeelings and added:
Don’t forget Calvin’s Big Decision.
pamuyablue reblogged this from panpinecone cripple-cat liked this
caedharlowe liked this
dangermouseastounding liked this slowlyhopefultriumph liked this
necrophagette reblogged this from giant-contraband-robot
giant-contraband-robot reblogged this from somewhatlargerobot
takato1993 reblogged this from purplezelda-cel5000
apocalypticautumn liked this isweartocoffee liked this
interdimensional-chaos reblogged this from dreemee
they-dont-stop-comic reblogged this from flairina knight-of-hypotenuse reblogged this from flairina
flairina reblogged this from wadinginthevelvet
flairina liked this
mymindimpaired reblogged this from sethnakht
gunnar79 reblogged this from tydrel
dingdongyouarewrong posted this - Show more notes