john: reblogs a bunch of cute inspirational shit and also hardcore porn. doesn’t understand the concept of “nsfw sideblog”. likes to reblog posts and add unnecessary but sincere commentary. doesn’t tag.
rose: writing blog. promos her own stuff constantly. her likes are empty. no main, no sides, just twice daily queued reblogs of recent work and then a weekly story under a cut, usually with a small illustration. she keeps it classy.
jade: yknow sixpenceee? okay imagine that enthusiasm but like, not a creepy slavery apologist with no actual redeemable qualities. also runs a furby sideblog tbh. is DEFINITELY a fan of longfurby and hodgepodge (i love u longfurby and hodgepodge)
dave: has two blogs. one is a constant stream of audio posts hosted on a website no one can fucking access. second is just reblog fortune bait shit.
jane: runs a discourse blog. you go there and get secondhand anxiety from the sheer amount of toxicity. also has a fanfic sideblog but like, it’s been dead for years.
roxy: her most popular blog is just aesthetic shit mixed with grainy videos of her falling down shit and kissing callie. her most infamous blog doesn’t seem to have any connection to her main because it’s just…a petty vent blog. where she vents. pettily.
jake: doesn’t know how to use a computer and goes outside, actually
dirk: hardcore porn blog where he occasionally reblogs like, an inspirational pic of rainbow dash or something.