m4ge:

je-suis-hetalia:

m4ge:

je-suis-hetalia:

m4ge:

buying peaches is so stressful because you have to consume them so quickly…it’s like the moment the cashier types in that number the alpha peach turns to its brothers in the bags and says “alright listen up boys, it’s time to remember your training. i want to see immense bruising by sundown. i want to see you near inedible by sunrise. remember it is better to die a free man than to be eaten.” you gotta wolf down all of your peaches at the check out counter while the trader joe’s employees eagerly look at the Peach Consumption Countdown Clock and cheer you on. these peaches have sensors on them that can tell when they come into contact with human hands so they can begin their self-destruct sequence like you’re in a spy movie and the peach just relayed a message to you about the whereabouts of jimmy hoffa’s decayed remains

Jimmy Hoffa is likely dead

this response carries so much chaotic cursed energy. jimmy hoffa was declared dead in 1982 after disappearing in 1975. he was born in 1913, meaning he would be the miraculous age of 105 today if he wasn’t dead. “likely dead.” the fact that it’s a hetalia blog trying to tell me that he is likely dead. the fact that i specifically mention his decayed corpse in my post so there is literally no reason for someone to alert me that he is “likely” deceased. the fact that this hetalia blog is trying to tell this to me, a person who up until recently literally worked for the international brotherhood of teamsters as a person in charge of handling their historical records. i spent two years of my life answering phone calls from people asking me if i personally knew what happened to jimmy hoffa’s body. ive spent a significantly longer amount of time trying to forget that hetalia exists. my entire career as a hetalia facebook roleplayer at the age of 11 just flashed through my eyes. i legitimately cannot express how much this response has effected me. ive been staring at it for 7 minutes. i feel like ive entered the twilight zone

I don’t ever remember writing that, when did I write that

everything about this is cursed

Jimmy Hoffa hacked a hetalia blog to make a single post

  1. apolloinred reblogged this from angelic-shadow-demon
  2. prestons-badonkadonks reblogged this from sapphic-idiot
  3. headjudgelen reblogged this from illegalaustralien
  4. sapphic-idiot reblogged this from shanksandchivalry
  5. globnartheexquisite reblogged this from shanksandchivalry
  6. angelic-shadow-demon reblogged this from shanksandchivalry
  7. finem-ipsum reblogged this from eisthenameofme
  8. shanksandchivalry reblogged this from in-mutual-weirdness
  9. eisthenameofme reblogged this from in-mutual-weirdness
  10. electric-boogaloo-pt-2 reblogged this from illegalaustralien
  11. truebluemagic reblogged this from bringmoreknives
  12. sexykale reblogged this from in-mutual-weirdness
  13. itsawildflowerkindalife reblogged this from illegalaustralien
  14. goblingal96 reblogged this from illegalaustralien
  15. goldensilvan reblogged this from majortomwaits
  16. in-mutual-weirdness reblogged this from enfouled
  17. majortomwaits reblogged this from fireortheflood
  18. toejam-y reblogged this from illegalaustralien
  19. secretkorg reblogged this from lilahlefae
  20. survivor-man-les-stroud reblogged this from outofthecosmos
  21. jaydee-wasnt reblogged this from medicinesquaregardens
  22. dizzyandlost reblogged this from justanuglydepressedbitch
  23. rubashev reblogged this from fireortheflood
  24. koalaramblings reblogged this from illegalaustralien
  25. beatmetothesnitch reblogged this from atleastimnotaweeaboo
  26. m4ge posted this