philosophy-and-coffee:

thecassinator:

ink7blot:

fmanime:

fmanime:

i think edward elric entire military experience can be summarized as john mulaney’s “horse loose in the hospital” bit

there is a CHILD ALCHEMIST LOOSE IN THE STATE MILITARY!

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE CHILD IS GOING TO DO, LEAST OF ALL THE CHILD!

HE’S NEVER BEEN IN THE MILITARY BEFORE!

They interviewed a man who once saw a baby in a restaurant.

WE’VE ALL SEEN A BABY IN A RESTAURANT!!!

THIS IS A CHILD. LOOSE IN THE MILITARY.

@dalethesjtoddler

And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive the child, and then, 5 miles under the capital city, an evil homunculus was like, “I have a huge transmutation circle and I’m going to kill everyone to become god!” And before we could say anything, the child was like, “If you even fucking look at Amestris, I will punch you to death with my fists. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can take my unresolved daddy issues out on you, I’m so fucking crazy.”