sockablock:

Universal experiences that prove why D&D is both the best and worst game ever:

“Make a stealth check.” “45.” “Your character just stops existing.”

“Now he’s gonna attack you, and—aw, fuck!” “Did you roll a nat—“ “I rolled a nat 1.”

“That’s 34 points of damage.” “I’m dead.” “You’re not dead—“

“I’m gonna cast [every AoE spell ever] on that guy.” “Hey! I’m standing right next to him!” “You’ve got a lot of HP, you’ll be fine.”

“I’m not sure you can do tha—“ “Nat 20.” “…you do that, I guess.”

“Wait, can I go ask [enemy NPC] for info?” “No, you killed him. He’s super-dead! His blood is everywhere, he’s not talking.”

“Make a persuasion check.” “Well I rolled a 2, but with my modifier it’s a 25.” “Nobody is allowed to play a bard next campaign.”

“You’re not proficient in that.” “Can I still try?” “…sure.”

“Come on guys, you almost had it.” “It’s been 45 minutes. Can you just tell us the answer?” “No. I believe in you. Now solve my puzzle.”

And, of course, the greatest one of all:

“…[heavy sigh]. Roll for seduction.”