jennytrout:

symmetraismygf:

warriorsatthedisco:

tinycodingkitty:

azzandra:

am-i-the-last-dreamer:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

pain-and-missouri:

tilthat:

TIL a 19 year old man dove 85 feet into the ocean to wrestle an 80 pound octopus with a 9 foot diameter to the surface in a 25 minute epic battle in which he punched the octopus subduing it after it turned red and lunged at him tearing off his respirator. He drove it home, cooked it up, and ate it.

via reddit.com

This is the man you must fight at the gates of Valhalla to prove you’re worthy of that mighty hall

It somehow gets crazier. this teenager trained for months. he staged fights in his parents’ swimming pool to train for this epic match. he choose halloween night for the final showdown. and it was for a school project. he could have chosen any seafood, but he decided on, in his own words, “that big fucking octopus.” magnificent bastard. 

Y’all missed the part where he dragged it ashore and divers saw him, got upset and sent some pretty rough stuff to his family. Then, at the Washington Fish and Wildlife meeting, he showed up and was like “yeah, it should be protected.” 

Except that the giant pacific octopus is nowhere near extinct and actually doing just fine.

So not only did he wrestle, kill, and eat a giant octopus- he got it protected from hunting in several locations even though the species doesn’t need protecting. 

Fucking legendary indeed.

So the only person they need protection from is this guy.

…what sort of school project requires you to wrestle sea life?

That’s just how Washington is

to be clear, the school project was to “draw something from nature.” nobody asked him to wrestle an octopus.

…now, I have misunderstood the spirit of a lot of art projects before but

this is the man that will save us from the elder gods