Silver Tongue

citizenjolras:

iamartemisday:

celticpyro:

iopele:

piercingsandink:

sine–qua-non:

sine–qua-non:

In the movie The Santa Clause, one becomes Santa by putting on the red coat after the death of the previous Santa. Even ignoring how morbid this premise is on its own, it’s possible that there’s another even darker level to the story. When Scott Calvin shows up at the North Pole as the new Santa, not only do the elves not appear surprised, they seem happy to see him and not at all upset about the Santa he replaced. And furthermore, at the very beginning of the movie, we see an elf standing with a crowd of children outside a toy store near Scott’s house. Why would she already be there if she didn’t have some sort of prior knowledge of what was going to occur? This leaves me no choice but to conclude that the elves not only hated the previous Santa but actually orchestrated his demise.

tl;dr: In The Santa Clause, the elves totally murdered the previous Santa.

Update: In The Santa Clause 2, the Easter Bunny says kids are 86% happier since Scott became Santa.  86%.  Clearly, the last Santa was so terrible, the elves had to off him.

Also, according to The Santa Clause 2, Santa has to be married in order to remain Santa, which means that the previous Santa must have been married - but there’s no Mrs. Clause around when Scott gets to the North Pole.  What happened to her?

And finally, I think this raises some pretty serious questions about Bernard’s sudden disappearance in between The Santa Clause 2 and 3.  Just how badly did Curtis want to be Head Elf?

Just how many people have the elves murdered?  Clearly those rosy cheeks and innocent, childlike faces are hiding some pretty dark secrets.

Oh my god

now this is the kind of Christmas post I want on my dash

The Santa Clause was just a Yuletide Julius Caesar.

Beware the Yules of December!

Yulius Caesar

this doesnt surprise me tho. elves are fae creatures.

  1. borderlineatitsfinest reblogged this from gottagowiththedevilyouknow
  2. pkmurasaki reblogged this from pkmurasaki
  3. knightoftheglasscastle reblogged this from eyes-like-fire
  4. eyes-like-fire reblogged this from pbandj-starz
  5. pbandj-starz reblogged this from be-ace-do-no-one
  6. violetpurple reblogged this from be-ace-do-no-one
  7. gothanna reblogged this from be-ace-do-no-one
  8. cinder-watches-musicals reblogged this from be-ace-do-no-one
  9. be-ace-do-no-one reblogged this from girldickman
  10. momolinia reblogged this from nonbinary-octopus
  11. day-time-dream reblogged this from nonbinary-octopus
  12. battleblaze reblogged this from nonbinary-octopus
  13. nonbinary-octopus reblogged this from lalamyfootupyouraft
  14. totallybemused reblogged this from chillgamesh-the-swing
  15. faithdragon36reblogs reblogged this from griancraft
  16. fantasyrocks13 reblogged this from sincerevioletdragonfly
  17. walkingencyclopediaofweirdmayo reblogged this from absolute-brain-vomit
  18. absolute-brain-vomit reblogged this from styx1an
  19. dynaslash reblogged this from timelyenigma
  20. charaisgay reblogged this from seaweedrain
  21. god-o-biscuits reblogged this from seaweedrain
  22. seaweedrain reblogged this from vanitasmori
  23. courtinthegarden reblogged this from singledadharrington
  24. crazedmilitaryhousewife reblogged this from thelifeandtimesofacrazyblond
  25. whatsnextapollo posted this