taakodupree:

listen, austism positivity is literally so important? i was diagnosed w “asperger’s” when i was 8, and although this is no longer a valid diagnosis (which is why i just identify w “autistic”), my family uses it all the time to try to prove to me that i’m not like those other autistic people. my entire childhood was my family trying to force me to adhere to “normal” social behavior, forcing me into social situations that pushed me to the verge of shutdowns and then punishing me when i retreated into myself, making fun of me for feeling a pillow when i was bored or to get to sleep (i realize now it was a stim but i threw it away when i was 15 despite knowing it would fuck up my ability to relax just to get them to shut the fuck up), scolding me for not having “common sense” and not “using my brain” (i’m obviously capable of using my brain as i was a straight a student from kindergarten until graduation), etc etc. 

at the same time they told me i had “grown out of my asperger’s,” which is not only ridiculous, but it made me think that since i was “no longer autistic,” that these shortcomings were because i was stupid, incapable, all kinds of words i used to put myself down when i couldn’t get something right.

it wasn’t until i was about 19 and out of the house and in college that i realized no, i’m still autistic. and it took me even longer to realize that that’s okay. it’s more than okay. it’s who i am and what i am, and now that i have embraced it i am able to make accommodations for myself, and forgive myself when something isn’t going quite right.

the most disabling aspect of autism is not sensory overload, it’s not lack of sociality, it’s not needing to stimulate ourselves to keep relaxed. it’s how allistics treat us and refuse to let us speak and think for ourselves. we’re not “stupid”; other people just think we are.

please let autistic kids love themselves.