sexhaver:

someone on r/legaladvice was sick of their coworker stealing their food out of the fridge so they started labeling it “POISON - DO NOT EAT” in sharpie on both the bag and the food’s wrapper every day and the person still kept stealing it so after a week they added a bunch of laxatives to their food and the thief had to go to the hospital and could possibly sue OP. the general consensus was that OP was technically objectively in the wrong from a legal standpoint but there is 0% chance of them being convicted in criminal court because that would require finding 12 jurors who would rule in favor of someone stealing food labeled “POISON - DO NOT EAT” and then getting poisoned