bilbo baggins gets away with talking an absurd amount of shit for a guy who comes up to most people’s knees & looks like he was born sitting in an armchair smoking a pipe in a dressing gown and slippers
my personal theory is that everyone who encounters him is so surprised that this well-mannered country gentleman looking little guy has the nerve to stand up to them and as a result it throws them off so completely that it prevents them from even considering a punitive response
bilbo, clearly lying his ass off: i did not come to steal from you, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamities
smaug:
thranduil: so, this is the halfling who stole the keys to my dungeons from under the nose of my guards
bilbo: …yes
thranduil:
gandalf: biLBO BAGGINS it’s time for u to get off ur ass and see the world come on
gandalf one (1) year later, watching bilbo attempt to sternly lecture a gold sickness-crazed thorin from the top of the erebor barricade in front of two opposing armies: oh valar what have i done