well! it’s a no game AU–basically this is a timeline offshoot where the babies put on meteors were swapped, and everyone’s kind of just…going through life normally (within like, our version of reality. just a little to the left. so nobody ever plays the game, but shhhh )
but anyway! classpects are good so
jade: witch of light (she can manipulate how fortune and luck work, as well as some destiny aspects. horrifying!)
rose: seer of breath (she has complete understanding over freedom, balance, and how to achieve those things, without really being able to influence them. also terrifying)
dave: knight of space (homeboy would have to do the entire frog breeding on his own. just…think about that)
john: heir of time (local man disappears into the timeline, and becomes the fabric of reality)
Shit, heir of time John sounds like regular John but with retcon powers by default