banishedquasiroyal:

au where guardians survive sburb

rose: Due to extenuating circumstances regarding the nature of the game, I believe it would be best for us to collectively regroup and form a new plan of attack against the Baroness. All in favor say—

dave: bc shes your stepmom now

dave: bc she literally left johns dad at the altar of the beautiful wedding officiated by my man the mayor

rose: No.

rose: And that’s hardly relevant. Clearly this is all some long running prank, or a dive for information.

rose: Having my mother as a double agent seems unlikely but I believe that to be true in the face of the alternative.

dave: you mean the truth right

dave: did you see the steamy texts rose

dave: the holy confetti mix of winky faces and blushing

dave: bc your mom is deep in alternian cuisine and is eating fish tacos every night

dave: you know how great it is that your mom is gay and married to a fish

dave: these double entendres are coming belly up

dave: just like your mom

rose: NO.