hot take:
Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.
Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.
Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards
& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards
#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)
further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.
omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards
by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.
This makes Sam the hot friend of the group, which is so fucking valid
Frodo is the hot one by elf standards.
Merry is the hot one by human standards.
Sam is the hot one by hobbit standards.
Pippin is…definitely a Took.
galaxy brain addition