owning a cat makes you immune to demons
evil spirits in my house: *creak my door open ominously*
me: is that you baby??? *kissing noises* come here sweet baby <3
me: *feels another Presence™ somewhere in the kitchen with me while i’m fetching glass of water at 3am*
me, sleepy and unafraid: i’m not letting you out yet you bastard, go back to bed
the yellow-eyed demon that stalks me in the dark: *whispering* damn it
*demon tries to smother me in my sleep*
“Fluffles could you kindly stop sleeping on my face”