dice-hoard:

biggaybunny:

friendlylocalgeek:

prokopetz:

Bad: Aliens who are bewildered by basic aspects of human society like cooking food and wearing clothes, implying that no similar practices exist anywhere else in the universe.

Good: Aliens who regard human society as largely unremarkable, but if questioned it rapidly becomes apparent that their understanding of the motive and purpose of various human cultural practices is subtly yet bizarrely askew.

“Ah, I see you have placed a simple lock upon the lavatory door for when you are… eliminating waste. I understand.”

“Thank you, Zazar…”

“You wish to make it harder for your enemies to ambush you during a moment of vulnerability. Very clever!”

“Wait, what?!”

That’s basic level what about more like:

“You’ve spent quite a long time cooking that meal, Human Jan.”

“Yeah, well, it’s been a while since I’ve had home-cooked food and there’s really no substitute, you know?”

Zorzr nods, then looks around and leans in close.

“I’m glad to have someone who understands. I suspect some of the other crew look down on my kind for consuming heated matter instead of thermo-regulating. But I’ve never thought about caring so much about the form of the heated matter before! We shall be great friends, Human Jan!”

“Uhh, actual– yeah, you know what, sure. We sure will.”

“Painting your mouth and nails in such a bright red is brilliant idea.”

“Thank you!”

“We never even considered painting such warning-colours on our carapaces to deter predators!”

“Well….”

“Ah I see, you drink this flamable poison as to make your blood toxic to predators?”

“No, Slork. I drink for many reasons but predators are not one of them”