Thor would help with your groceries fight me

you are abso-fucking-lutely right

This is such a weird post because it FEELS right. You’re nodding, yeah yeah, totally. That’s how superheroes are. And it holds together until you think about any given member of the avengers

Thor? Thor would LOVE to escort you home, and would help get stuff to that top shelf you have trouble reaching.

Cap? I mean, Steve Rogers is practically defined by his willingness to carry your groceries for you. 

Iron Man? Look, getting Tony Stark to take your groceries home is the easy part. It’s getting him to stop that’s the trick; he wants to build you an automatic grocery-carrying drone or set up a recurring home delivery order that’s charged to his account.  After you turn down his offer to buy you a new house, you wake up the next morning to find that he’s paid off your student loans and pledged $10,000/month to your Patreon. 

Hulk?  Bruce would be in tears if someone came up to him and asked for an escort home because they feel safer with him nearby.  He’d name his next discovery after you. 

Hawkeye? He’d walk you home, telling you dumbass dad jokes the whole time, and teach you some ASL.  Then he’d put all your groceries away and show you how to make a pot roast. 

Black Widow? Well, OK, she might not walk you home. But she would fuck up anyone and everyone in your neighborhood who made you feel unsafe.  There’d be bullies on your block who would cry every time they even thought about catcalling.

And idk. I feel like maybe the problem is in our relationship to superheroes – that we think of them saving the world, and we forget that most good is done at street level. 

Or maybe what Spiderman has is some kind of relatability.  Because the OP does feel right. Any of the avengers would help us … but Spiderman is the only one we would ask to help us.  Because he feels like a friendly neighborhood buddy.  And maybe that’s a superpower on its own.