the subtext of dio is so funny like hes never explicitly hilarious but he just lounges around his mansion fucking feeding and looking sexy just in case his grandnephew checks in on him and he has a pet falcon
one of his favorite butlers is a gamer who just plays video games in the cellar all day and his henchmen include an evil baby, orangutan, and man whos stand is the entire sun; remind you hes a fucking vampire. and the rest of his minions are just his polycule
He froze time, physically moved Polnareff to the bottom of the stairs, then went back to pose on his throne just to fuck with his head
to be fair, did you really expect Dio “I REJECT MY HUMANITY” Brando to NOT be dramatic and extra AF?
smart-grass said:
He can also freeze blood, create zombies, and is canonically bisexual - smart-grass liked this
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