thequantumqueer:

jackcrutchies:

wancemcwain:

saints-row-2:

im only saying this once

the only acceptable jobs for spider-man

• broke high schooler
• broke college student
• freelance photographer
• high school teacher
• unpaid intern
• pizza delivery guy
• research assistant for doomed scientific project
• guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos
• being spider-man

and thats IT i dont want any of this “hes a genius tech ceo making millions” SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.

how about dog walker while in spiderman costume

you. you get it

im imagining “being spider-man” as his full-time gig and i just

he has a patreon. the description is just the words “I’m Spider-Man” and all he ever posts is specifically-requested selfies from people who want to be sure its really him. pinned to the top of the page is a picture from the top of the empire state building (not the observation deck, the real top) of his spider-gloved hand holding a bagel that is on fire, with 34th street in the background