kintatsujo:

north-peach:

astudyinimagination:

ambrosius-faust:

Bruce Wayne is so dumb. Billionaire playboy bachelor is such a stupid cover when stressed single parent is not only the truth but also easier to explain to all these rich folks.

• All this weird in depth knowledge? Had to help with school presentations
• Tired? Sleepy? Looks a bit sick? Huh yeah the youngst has the flu right now
• Literally always has “my child is sick/home alone” as an excuse to not be anywhere and leave suddenly
• No need to flirt with people
• Can talk about children for hours and bore people away from paying attention
• “So my child’s first languge is actually X so of course I had to learn it”
• “Oh yeah, I was in Spain last week. Lovely country.”
• “Really??? Didn’t see any pictures from you.”
• “I don’t want my children exposed to the media storm”
• Buying weird stuff!!!!
• “Oh yeah, Jason’s super into DIY right now, we’re at the hardware store every week basically”
• Bottom line Single Dad is the bet cover he could have had and DC has to ruin it
• Feel free to add

@fialleril

Busted ribs?

Yeah, my second child jumped into my bed this morning. Feet first.

Black eye?

That would be the milk my oldest spilled on the floor which he forgot to clean up before I slipped on it and went head first into my wool carved cabinets.

You just disabled this bomb???

Yeah, my third kid build a working model and we didn’t have time to call the bomb squad so I made sure if he does something like that again, I know how to deal with it.

Your vast knowledge of rockets and space ships?? 

Also my third child. Timmy’s so smart, honestly, I have no idea where he gets all this stuff.

Why are you able to understand that strange magic person who’s only speaking in Old English?

Jason went through a phase.

Why is your youngest carrying swords around and shouting death threats?

I slept with a rich, Middle Eastern king’s daughter and I didn’t get custody until he was 10. Damian was raised very…traditionally.

You backflip??

Dick’s a circus acrobat and an Olympic class gymnast. He looked so happy when he said he could teach me, I didn’t have the heart to tell him no.

You have huge dark circles under your eyes, you okay?

I haven’t slept in three days, the kids are all down with some kind of sickness.

Why is that small child covered with bruises and why is his arm in a cast?

Dick thought it would be fun to swing from the chandelier in the main entrance, to the top of the banister of the stairs and to slide down to the bottom.

He missed.

Okay but consider: a Bruce Wayne who uses the dumb bachelor cover up until Dick’s first science project living with him and Bruce has the light bulb moment while Alfred is treating the burns