laziestofthedreamers:

vmohlere:

tigerliliesandcherryblossoms:

tetsuskitten:

infinityonthot:

fangoddess817:

endreams-s:

writing-prompt-s:

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

A++ addition

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

I LOVE THIS

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.


Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.


So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.

detective: “I feel sorry for her wife. poor girl doesnt realize shes married to a murderer”

detectives partner: “I’m not surprised she doesnt know. She seems to frequently leave the house for hours on end. do you think we should investigate her?”

Detective: “no, that would tip the author off that we’re onto her”

  1. lunar-ball reblogged this from loveaphukefrance
  2. there-was-a-star-danced-ao3 reblogged this from prolifeproliberty
  3. mochi9593 reblogged this from some-textposts
  4. high-lady-of-the-night-court13 reblogged this from the-court-of-dreams
  5. yourwakingnightmares reblogged this from batfam16
  6. batfam16 reblogged this from jasontoddiefor
  7. domofthedoctor reblogged this from weirdo-and-proud
  8. summerrain99 reblogged this from weirdo-and-proud
  9. weirdo-and-proud reblogged this from chocolateauthoress
  10. claraowl reblogged this from the-court-of-dreams
  11. chocolateauthoress reblogged this from the-court-of-dreams
  12. ash-e reblogged this from the-court-of-dreams
  13. the-court-of-dreams reblogged this from a-court-of-fanfiction-and-fandom
  14. winnerwinnerbirthdaydinner reblogged this from noyin
  15. nerefee reblogged this from parkersharthook
  16. writer-not-serial-killer-i-swear reblogged this from gabriel-wolfe-wordsmith
  17. bad-girl-coven reblogged this from hurting-fictional-people
  18. lia-peppermint reblogged this from whydamnitwhy
  19. dragonspawn9000 reblogged this from c--and--b
  20. writing-prompt-s posted this