also, if you have intrusive violent thoughts, pretend they’re being said to u by an annoying backseat driver

“drive into that pole”
thanks karen or i could not do that

Perfect

you can also pretend that the Super Paranoid thoughts are being said by that conspiracy theorist in your history class

“maybe they poisoned you”
maybe you should fuck off, geoffrey-with-a-g

OHH MAN I DO THIS SHIT EVERY DAY

My favorite for intrusive anxious thoughts is to pretend Spock’s behind you with an answer.

“did I lock the door-”

captain you have locked the door every day for over ten years, and it is very hard for most people to break even subconscious habits, so you most definitely locked the door

I told my new psychiatrist about how I learned this from y'all and his eyes lit up. He didn’t smile but he did nod a whole bunch of times, it was great.

I like to pretend that my intrusive thoughts are being said to me by a super uptight religious white lady

“god hates you because you don’t believe in him”
“your failures are too great to be forgiven by anyone”
“everything you do is wrong and you are going to burn in hell”

thanks for the input brenda but fuck right off

I would just like to say that I love you all for this idea.

Reblogging this for a friend.

I get non-harmful impulses due to adhd so I just pretend it’s one of those annoying “bad kids” at school who try to get the good kids to misbehave like

“Hey, you should jump onto that guys chair and scream in the middle of a movie”

Yeah no Jaden how about we only stick to one of us getting expelled

NOT RELATED TO MY BLOG AT ALL BUT I LOVE THIS!

This seriously helps!

Especially if you’re hella sarcastic too

“nobody likes you, you’re worthless!”

Me, whipping out my phone to look at my group chat

“suuuure everybody hates me, these 20 or so people cleeeeaaarly despise me”

Or impulsive thoughts

“Kick that toddler!”

“yep, yeet that fuck huh? What a way to spend a day, nah thanks”

I need to start doing this.

Yas bitch