valtharr:

romansleftshoulderpad:

scionofthestars:

alexandragrace:

appendingfic:

hearthburn:

fandomsandanythingelse:

prose-and-peonies:

probablybard:

modern greek mythology adaptation where hades and persephone are played by john mulaney and his wife

She’s hades, he’s Persephone

Oh no, no. John Mulaney is 100% Hades.

• Loves his wife
• Is actually pretty chill except when it comes to stupid people
• Can’t stand up for himself when others try to do him wrong

And from what we hear about her, she’s very Persephone.

• Easy to underestimate
• Knows her own mind
• Will cut you

“So, I meet this wonderful lady. Just fantastic, my heart does that thing where it’s skipping beats, and I - all of you think I’m going to talk about how I suavely asked her out, and that is not what happened. 

“I ride up in my chariot, and the first - this is literally the first thing I say to her is ‘do you want to meet my dog’?

“And this - I - this is a sign that this woman is my soul mate - she looks at her friends hanging around and says, ‘sure, catch you later, guys’.

“I’m going to skip forward here a couple of dates - no, don’t - this is not the story of how my wife met my dog - and her mom - her mom - finds out she’s seeing me. Now I know everyone jokes about how a girl’s dad is this big, hulking - going to hunt you down if you’re dating his daughter and he doesn’t like you. But if you say that, it’s because you’ve never had some girl’s mom glaring up at you from like - her mom’s like two inches taller than her, so this little furious glare from around my chin area, saying her daughter’s not allowed to come see me anymore.

“And this - okay, this is when I knew I was going to marry this girl, she looks at her mom and, cool as anything, says, ‘Too late, mom. I met his dog, ate dinner over here. I’m staying’.”

WAIT…so does that mean….Petunia is Cerberus?

FUCKING YES!!

@raiseafuckingglass

reblogging this again, because I just thought: should Disney ever decide to include Hercules in their list of unnecessary live action remakes, the least they could do would be casting John Mulaney as Hades

in john mulaney voice:
So this guy just strolls into my home and at first im like “WOAH how did you get in here? My dog should have made some noise” and hes like “oh i played some music for your dog” to which all i can think is “Music gets my dog to be calm around guests?” So this guy, still dont know who he is, he puts an -and i kid you not- and entire song about how much he misses his dead wife and im like “shit that sucks. I wish i could help in some way” and my wife is stops me and say “now wait. wait. wait. You come into our home unannounced and want us to just bring your wife back to life free of charge?” i think for a second and think you know what? YEAH! it IS weird that this guy just came in uninvited… but that song was pretty good though. Eventually we compromise that he can take his wife back to the world of the living if he trusts her enough to follow him without looking back. simple terms right? if i was in the same position i would be absolutely sure my wife was right there behind me. so we grab his wifes soul and send them on their way. FIVE minutes later, i kid you not, five minutes his wifes soul comes crashing down the ceiling. Like this guy had ONE job and he couldnt do that. I wanted to give him another chance but my wife made a very good point that our offer was the most simple terms of service you could think of and he STILL managed to mess it up. The moral of the experience is that you should trust your wife.