just saw someone ask whether batman or spiderman would win in a fight, as if batman would see a brightly-colored sassy acrobat and not immediately adopt him
now, in fairness, peter parker has a history of seeing someone else in a costume and immediately throwing hands only to realize three pages later that there was literally no reason to do that, but it’s not like misplaced aggression is disqualifying when it comes to suddenly acquiring a batdad
Bruce, upon realizing that he’s getting punched repeatedly by a flippy and talkative spider-child with 0 brain cells and a strong moral compass, immediately begins filling out mental adoption papers
Peter, catching the image of an adult dressed vaguely like an animal and standing in the shadows out of the corner of his eye, immediately backflips into a roundhouse kick while shouting “batter up!”
Batman, internally: Unfortunately I love it.
Bruce: This one has super strength and can literally dodge bullets.
Clark: Bruce, put him back where he came from.
Peter: Please give me a dollar. I am very poor.
Clark: I gave him a dollar.
Peter: He gave me a dollar.
Clark: I thought he’d go away if I gave him a dollar.
Bruce: Well of course he’s not gonna go away. If you gave him a dollar he’s gonna assume you have more.
spiderman could easily defeat the joker