I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”
Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.
If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.
Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.
But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.
Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.
Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.
First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.
And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.
lesbian--persephone reblogged this from further-down-the-spiral soulsofstarsliveinyourveins reblogged this from mandalourian
impressme-not liked this
further-down-the-spiral reblogged this from sativafemme ardyvee liked this
sadnonbinarydiary reblogged this from sativafemme
empiricalmediatheory liked this
sativafemme reblogged this from getmetothesnow honeyedsunlight liked this
the-ladyguinevere reblogged this from korrasamiforever korrasamiforever reblogged this from pottsfieldpumpkins
superfun-d reblogged this from semi-immortal lordlouiedor reblogged this from dustdevil
iwant-aliens liked this
dustdevil reblogged this from toxtrcity
knight-in-shiny-hoodie reblogged this from vampwolfandtiny sharonabutterfield liked this
timekeepertailon liked this
getmetothesnow reblogged this from mircalla
vampwolfandtiny reblogged this from mircalla
mircalla reblogged this from c0ok13-the-sleepy
hahahha-fandoms liked this
queen-tree-monster reblogged this from pottsfieldpumpkins
noxgold reblogged this from deathstalkerspride
thenostalgicyarnwitch reblogged this from totallynotagentphilcoulson
fire-keeper reblogged this from i-am-snowils-admiral shipdumbass reblogged this from totallynotagentphilcoulson
shipdumbass liked this
laazucena liked this
strayscribbler liked this
froggo-friend liked this
bugdoki liked this
erin-ripley liked this alison-is-a-lesbian reblogged this from fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan
semi-immortal reblogged this from homofaggins
theshrimpoverlord reblogged this from fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan
theshrimpoverlord liked this
thirdrobinbestrobin liked this
strawbitchyshortcake liked this effervescentgalaxies liked this
madlycountingsheep liked this
malachte liked this
every-cool-name-is-taken liked this
i-ndil-cuimhne-ar-daniel reblogged this from bastard-mice
i-ndil-cuimhne-ar-daniel liked this
fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan reblogged this from totallynotagentphilcoulson
st-jude-was-always-there-hiding reblogged this from antiisocialbunny
bastard-mice reblogged this from pottsfieldpumpkins toxtrcity reblogged this from antiisocialbunny
- Show more notes