Silver Tongue

hymnofvalefor:

biblioprincessdalian:

something about netflix castlevania felt really weird but oddly familiar in the way the story is medieval low fantasy and yet every character is not only speaking in a super modern way but constantly dunking on eachothers backstories, dropping f bombs with impunity, and going on 5 minute tangents on whether or not vampires really are killed by running water and I couldn’t put my finger on it until I realized they all talk like they’re players in a dnd campaign

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Player: I throw the sword in the air and kick it into the cyclopes eye

DM: I… What?

Player: I kick the sword mid air

DM: What the fuck? what kind of roll woudl that even be? you know what doesnt matter. roll dexterity. if you fail youre gonna take some damage because youre kicking a fucking spinning sword

player: *rolls*

player: NAT 20 MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

DM: Alright. Fine. I cant really argue with that. I guess you fucking spin your sword in mid air and kick it like a dumbass. It somehow works and fucking launches into the cyclopes eye and kills him immediately. congrats you made the eye unsalvagable. take 30 experience.

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Originally posted by geneticdisorder

Reblogged 3 years ago from newbarrk (Originally from desolationlesbian)
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